


It's The Inbetween That's Killing Him

by Cr0wdc0ntr01



Category: Political Animals
Genre: Angst, Dysfunctional Family, Gen, Mentions of Sucide attempt, TJ needs a hug, breakdown - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-29
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-12-08 11:52:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11646006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cr0wdc0ntr01/pseuds/Cr0wdc0ntr01
Summary: He wanted to say a lot of things in that moment.Maybe to apologize, to diffuse the situation so they could get back to the party he’d stolen from Doug.Except it had happened and TJ wasn’t quite sure his heart hadn’t up and stopped beating two minutes back.“I hate this family.” TJ’s voice spat. But that wasn’t all true either. Because yeah, he kind of hated them. Hated his dad for becoming president and putting them in the lime light. Hated Doug for being everything TJ could never be. Hated his mom for running for president herself after all they’d already been through, hated her for pulling him out of that car too soon.





	It's The Inbetween That's Killing Him

“Why don’t you just play the piano?” His dad asked. “I can make a call get you an in.” He’d offered.

“Thirty-year old’s don’t become concert pianist, dad.” TJ responded mechanically. He could see his mother watching him, heartbreak in her eyes. Could see Doug beside her staring at him with pity. It was a pity that TJ had learned to expect. Just like Doug had come to expect TJ to need it.

“Come on son, let me help you.” Dad drawled, because he didn’t plead. No sir. President Bud Hammond did not do pleading, would not plead, certainly not for TJ. No matter that TJ could swear that it leaked into his father’s voice.

TJ’s eyes spun once more around the room to examine every inch of his families faces. This wasn’t how he wanted it to be. Ever since he was a boy living it up in the White House, it seemed all he could do was disappoint. He _hated_ it.

“I don’t want to play!” TJ shouted suddenly so utterly done. He didn’t care that they had company only one room over. Didn’t care that in that number was a reporter who thrived on his family’s misery. In all honesty, in that moment TJ didn’t even care that it was his little brothers party. He just didn’t _care_.

He wished his family didn’t either.

His dad’s eyes darkened slightly, brow tightening. “Well what else have you got?” Dad demanded. “You got yourself kicked out of every school we put you in, dropped outta both colleges we got you in. You’ve drunk and snorted everything else, kid!” Dad shouted.

“Bud,” Mom tried to plead, to tell him that was enough.

“No, Elaine. You’ve coddled the boy long enough! The piano is the only thing he’s got left.” Bud shouted, spittle flying from his lips as he turned to his wife before turning furious eyes back on his eldest son. “It’s the only thing you got left! I don’t know what you want from us anymore, son. After that little stunt you pulled back in December-” Bud trailed off, hand going to his jaw as he turned away.

TJ wished he’d man the hell up and look him in the eyes as he _fucking destroyed_ whatever was left of him.

“Your problem son, is that you damn well jump on any opportunity to get messed up and I ain’t gonna give you my money to do it with.” Bud spun around to face TJ once again. “For god’s sake, your momma was never going to give you that money! She’s just setting me up to be the bad guy as usual.” Bud announced, turning to face his ex-wife. But she offered no response. Not a goddamn word.

The silence that followed was interrupted only by TJ’s own ragged breath.

“The _stunt_ I pulled in December?” TJ repeated mostly to himself. The attention of the room once more turned to the eldest Hammond son. If his family’s faces were anything to go by then TJ looked just about as hellish as he felt.

“Alright. Alright TJ-” Doug began to mutter as he turned as if to put an arm on TJ but stopped as his brother side stepped away.

He wanted to say a lot of things at that moment. Maybe to apologise, to diffuse the situation so they could get back to the party he’d stolen from Doug. He wanted to take it all back and pretend none of this had happened. Except it had happened and TJ wasn’t quite sure his heart hadn’t up and stopped beating two minutes back.

“I hate this family.” TJ’s voice spat. But that wasn’t all true either. Because yeah, he kind of hated them. Hated his dad for becoming president and putting them in the lime light. Hated Doug for being everything TJ could never be. Hated his mom for running for president herself after all they’d already been through, hated her for pulling him out of that car too soon.

But God help him, he loved them too. He couldn’t find it in him to hate them fully. Couldn’t forgive them either. It was the in-between that was slowly killing him.

Spinning on his heel TJ stormed from the room, ignoring his brother calling his name and brushing off the hand on his shoulder. He didn’t slam the door behind him but it was a close thing. The house was just as silent as the room he’d escape. Not even the clink of cutlery came from the dining room.

Fine.

_Fine._

TJ could make enough noise for all of them. He moved his ass into the living room, ignoring the eyes that tracked his movements the minute he entered the room far enough so the occupants of the dining room could see him. His media perfected smile ached against his cheeks, feeling brittle and dead. He didn’t bother hiding the storm inside his eyes, didn’t think he could even if he tried. All together the perfect Hammond Son façade was far too brittle to convince even the thickest moron.

TJ decided not to acknowledge the startled looks thrown his way, instead heading directly for the piano. His hands came to brush against the keys, fingering the ivory white as though it would somehow know exactly what he needed. He ignored the tremble in his hands, pretended the tremors wrecking his body were non-existent as he backed away from the piano returning a moment later with an iron poker from the fire.

His grip was tight despite his shaking. His white knuckles curled around the metal as he brought it above his head before slamming it down onto the keys. The piano screeched right alongside the startled screams. TJ brought the poker down again and again tearing the damn thing apart with each and every blow.

“Thomas!” His mother cried from somewhere behind him. It didn’t stop him from bringing the poker down again, and again, and again. When even the small pitiful noises ceased to come from the lump that was once a piano, and all that was left was his own heaving breaths and the startled gasps of his audience TJ allowed the poker to fall lifelessly to the floor.

He turned haunted eyes to the others. Anne’s parents were holding one another with Anne mushed between them. The damned reporter was watching him wide eyes and pale skin, as was the Japanese ambassador. His mother was crying as she held his white-faced grandmother. Doug stood closest to him, his eyes wide and mouth gaping as he stared at the mess that had become his twin brother. TJ viciously tore his eyes from his brother and directly onto his father. The older man’s jaw was tight, his face clipped as he stared straight back at him.

“Well look at that dad, you were right! I saw the opportunity and well-” TJ shrugged, giving his father a tight-lipped parody of a smile. “ _Now_ I have nothing left.” TJ shouted, or well he would have shouted if his voice wasn’t so utterly wrecked.

His father near recoiled back at the venomous words. Bud opened his mouth to speak but closed it when words failed him for, possibly, the first time in his life.

TJ didn’t think he could bring himself to care. He pushed past his family on the way to the front door. Already his mind was on the white powder in his pocket that would take it all away.


End file.
